Ordinary or Extra-Ordinary?

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Author: Neil M.

Article source: http://www.holisticlocal.com/. Used with author's permission.

There is a way to create extra-ordinary relationships with others. I'll share it with you.

I'm not sure about you, but I can't think of any other outcome that would be higher, or that I would enjoy more, than for a person to have had an interaction with me and enjoyed it so much that they want to spend time with me over and over again. I'm sure this is what most of us want, but do we go about it in the right way?

When we meet people we want to share ourselves with them. We want to express our knowledge, experience and opinion and quite often our judgement on events or people. By doing this we hope that will be liked, enjoy friendships and be abundantly successful in our work. But what if I told you this trick doesn't work as effectively as another trick I know?

What do I mean?

In order to enjoy interactions and become abundantly popular we have to do something different to imparting all our knowledge and experience and judgements. We have to focus differently. We have to focus on just one thing. And what is that?

We have to focus on the highest desire. By this I mean: what is the highest outcome you could have in this situation: What is the highest standard? What is the highest level of being? What is most important?

Here is an example:

Let's say you have a dispute with your spouse or partner. The primary factor in your relationship with this person is to love and be loved. Many times we get ingrained in other stuff - making a point and needing to be right on a multitude of subjects and killing the very highest intention you had when you first met and began courting. The most important outcome of all, is to love and be loved. When your focus is on the highest outcome the dispute fades into stuff - secondary stuff.

What about with work colleagues who you don't love?

Again what is your highest intention? Is it to win your point of view at any cost? Is it to be seen as the fountain of all knowledge in the office? Or is it to be respected for your talents and abilities? Focus on the highest outcome. When you do this you send subtle, unseen signals to your work colleagues and your bosses and they will being to show you the very thing you want.

What about the kids?

With kids it is simple too. What is the highest outcome: is it to force them into doing what you want right this second or to have them willingly co-operate and grow up into well rounded, responsible people? If the highest desired outcome is to have them willingly co-operate and grow up into well rounded people then all you need to do is adopt the behaviour of the parent who has well-rounded co-operative kids.

We can never beat or force people into liking us, but we can encourage them. We encourage them by helping them to remember that they are perfect, wonderful peoplewe encourage them by wishing them well, wanting what they want, finding the common ground and working together towards the highest outcome.

And what do we get from interacting like this?

We get to feel good. We get move on from being ordinary to being extra ordinary. Ordinary people are (according to statistics) in £18000 of debt, divorced two thirds of the time, overweight and suffering from one ailment or another. Meanwhile extra-ordinary people are debtless, in stable, happy relationships and fit and healthy.

What makes the difference?

Probably the largest factor between ordinary and extra-ordinary people is their focus. Extra-ordinary people focus on the highest outcomes and the highest standards.