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Author: Nicole Love Article source: http://www.articledeshboard.com/. Used with author's permission.
When you're on a date, especially a first date, it's a time of learning but the best way to learn is to listen rather than talk. You don't want to appear as if you're interrogating your date, but at the same time asking a number of questions and listening to the answers can be the best way to find out if you want to progress to a further date with this person.
There's an added bonus to this dating tactic. Along with learning more about the person you're with, you are also not leaving much time to talk about yourself. This isn't because you aren't worthy of being discussed, but rather that you leave your date wanting to know more about you. They haven't learned as much about you as they might have liked because you managed to keep the topic of conversation on them - although they probably didn't realize that at the time. This means that you remain something of an enigma to them. When they think back on the date, they'll remember how interested you were in them (always flattering), and how little they managed to find out about you. You have kept an air of mystery around you that will pique their interest and encourage them to take you out again so that they can find out more about you!
Another bonus of the asking-not-telling tactic comes in useful if the date goes wrong. If your date seems to be quite interested in you, whereas you can't wait to get out of there, then you haven't given them many ways of tracking you down! They won't know enough about you to be able to wait outside your office for example - a "legal firm" could be one of hundreds, likewise with your profession (doctor, bus driver, shop assistant, etc). Vague answers that give you an opportunity to volley the question back at your date will only be examined when your date thinks back on the evening - and by then it's too late to delve deeper into precise information!
Don't think that going on a date automatically means that you have reveal everything about yourself to the person you're with. The dating process is all about getting to know someone better, but that doesn't have to happen on the very first time you go out together! Hold back with your personal information - without being so cryptic that your date assumes that you've got something to hide - and give it out over time as you become more comfortable in sharing personal details with the person you're dating. There's nothing at all wrong in maintaining an air of mystery!
Nicole Love - Learn how you can attain long term success in relationships by visiting my dating, love and relationships advice blog. At my blog you can get access to a growing collection of dating and relationship tips; as well as free downloadable ebooks and special reports.
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